Real Slim Shady HP Style
by Fantasy-gurls
Summary: Title says all


The Real Slim Shady, Harry Potter style.....  
  
  
May I have your attention please?  
May I have your attention please?  
Will the real Harry Potter please stand up?  
I repeat, will the real Harry Potter please stand up?  
We're gonna have a problem here..  
  
Y'all act like you never seen a famous wizad before  
Jaws all on the floor like Ron, like 'Mione just burst in the door  
and started whoopin her ass worse than before  
they first were divorce, throwin her over furniture (Ahh!)  
It's the return of the... "Ah, wait, no way, you're kidding,   
he didn't just say what I think he did, did he?"  
And Malfoy said... nothing you idiots!   
Now Malfoys dead, he's locked in my basement! (Ha-ha!)  
Feminist women love Harry {*vocal turntable:   
chigga chigga chigga*} "Harry Potter, I'm sick of him  
Look at him, walkin around grabbin his you-know-what  
Flippin the you-know-who," "Yeah, but he's so cute though!"  
Yeah, I probably got a couple of screws up in my head loose  
But no worse, than what's goin on in your parents' bedrooms  
Sometimes, I wanna get on TV and just let loose, but can't  
but it's cool for Voldemort to hump a dead moose  
"My bum is on your lips, my bum is on your lips"  
And if I'm lucky, you might just give it a little kiss  
And that's the message that we deliver to little kids  
And expect them not to know what a woman's clitoris is  
Of course they gonna know what intercourse is  
By the time they hit fourth Year  
They got the Broomsticks and shit without beer  
"We ain't nothing but mammals.." Well, some of us cannibals  
who cut other people open like cantaloupes {*SLURP*}  
But if we can hump dead animals and antelopes  
then there's no reason that a man and another man can't elope  
{*EWWW!*} But if you feel like I feel, I got the antidote  
Women wave your pantyhose, sing the chorus and it goes  
  
Chorus: Eminem (repeat 2X)  
  
I'm Harry Potter, yes I'm the real Potter  
All you other Harry Potters are just imitating  
So won't the real Harry Potter please stand up,  
please stand up, please stand up?  
  
[Harry]  
Fred 'n George don't gotta cuss in his raps to sell thier records;  
well I do, so fuck them and fuck yall too!  
You think I give a damn about a house points?  
Half of you critics can't even stomach me, while I smoke some joints!  
"But Harry, what if you win, wouldn't it be weird?"  
Why? So you guys could just lie to get me here?  
So you can, sit me here next to Dumbledore?  
Fuck that! I've already met him before!  
so I can sit next to Ron and Hermione when im cursed?  
and hear 'em argue? Shit I was already there friends first  
You little bitch, put me on blast on MTV  
"Yeah, he's cute, but I think he's married to Cho, hee-hee!"  
I should download her audio on MP3   
and show the whole world how you gave Harry Potter VD {*AHHH!*}  
I'm sick of you little girl and boy groups, all you do is annoy me  
so I have been sent here to destroy you {*bzzzt*}  
And there's a million of us just like me  
who cuss like me; who just don't give a fuck like me  
who dress like me; walk, talk and act like me  
and just might be the next best thing but not quite me!  
  
Chorus  
  
[Harry]  
I'm like a head trip to listen to, cause I'm only givin you   
things you joke about with your friends inside your living room  
The only difference is I got the balls to say it  
in front of y'all and I don't gotta be false or sugarcoated at all  
I just get on the mic and spit it   
and whether you like to admit it {*ERR*} I just shit it  
better than ninety percent of you rappers out can  
Then you wonder how can kids eat up these albums like valiums  
It's funny; cause at the rate I'm goin when while im sixteen  
While your the only person flirting with Dean  
Slapping girls asses while they aint lookin, What? You think im a mother-fuckin virgin?  
And I'm jerkin but this whole bag of Viagra isn't working  
And every single person is a Harry Potter lurkin  
He could be workin in the kitchen, spittin on your fuckin chicken  
{*HACH*} Or in the parkin lot, circling  
Screaming "I don't give a fuck!"   
with his windows down and his system up  
So, will the real Potter please stand up?  
And put one of those fingers on each hand up?  
And be proud to be outta your mind and outta control  
and one more time, loud as you can, how does it go?  
  
Chorus 2X  
  
[Harry]  
Ha ha  
Guess there's a Harry Potter in all of us  
Fuck it, let's all stand up  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
Disclaimer:Hey, if you have listened to "The Real Slim Shady," by Eminem, you would probebly notice that I only changed some of it. So most of this song belongs to Eminem, as well as Eminem belongs to.........what the fuck am I sayin....Eminem belongs to his own fuckin self...........EMINEM RULZ!!!!!!!!!! Keep cool......stay alive....and if you want another song of his made to Harry Potter style, just say so in your review........AND BRING IT ON YOU MOTHER-FUCKIN FLAMERS!!!!!*ahem*Bye!  
-DracoGranger  
  
Ps.I dedicate this song to Regeane Silveria, for giving me the idea in their review.......c-ya! 


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